I Want to Laugh/I Want to Cry

Standard

Despite having

both sides of the same coin

you can’t make heads or tails

of the ambivalence.

The opposing sensations

never cancel

each other out,

to become indifference.

Instead, both emotions

carry-on and veer-off,

like you’re being

drawn-and-quartered.

Your inner monologue

is a screaming match

between two diametrically

opposed parties

who are not making any headway.

How does one make sense

of the things at their very core

not adding up?

Hell isn’t all fire

and brimstone.

Hell

is getting everything

you’ve ever wanted in life —

and it still sucks.


Inhibitionism

Standard

In the throes of

cost-benefit

analysis paralysis,

I change my mind.

Give me a nudge,

in the right direction,

just enough to budge,

and overcome the friction.

Pivot after pivot,

like I’m double-jointed,

but I’m too rigid

to be a contortionist.

In the midst of

figuring it all out,

I think twice.

I’ll come around again,

as I move along the bend.

In a moment of clarity I ask,

is this just how it is

forever, then?

I’ve begun to understand myself,

then I thought better of it.

Feedback Loops

Standard

It happened again.

When you can’t undo

you can retrace your steps.

“Walk me through it,”

you hear from right behind you,

it was your own tail insisting.

But your directions

fall on deaf ears –

your great fear

is that you’ve now

lost your place.

But it’s right

under your nose,

tantalizingly close —

I know that feeling well.

“What are you not getting?”

It’s always a game of catch-up

or keep away.

Maybe you can tell,

I don’t have all the answers,

I thought I’d been

making waves,

but all I’ve done is dig ruts

and kick-up dust.

Let’s try again.

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Mycelium

Image

The mushroom,

As it is known,

Is the tip of the fungal iceberg,

So to speak.

Beneath the fruiting body,

In the crux,

Is an interconnected,

Root and chute structure,

That undergirds,

The organism.

An unseen web,

Of white matter,

That provides a foundation.

A loose, scattered scaffold,

That aids the fungus in digestion.

In a superficially cerebral way,

Think of it like this:

The white matter,

In your brain,

Is a network,

Of axons,

That allows you to understand,

Various axioms,

And maxims,

And act on them.

You may not be aware of it,

Or scarcely know of such a thing,

But it’s presence is felt,

Nonetheless.

The Frey Effect

Standard

Haven’t you heard?

Hearing, the sensation

requires some good vibration,

to get the eardrums

moving.

Microwave radiation,

in the tiniest doses,

bypasses bones

no barriers broken.

Your brain buzzes

like the Chatty Cathy,

it actually is –

even if you’re at a loss for words.

The electrons in

your audio cortex

are eager to broadcast

for me,

but only get so far.

It’s easy to gossip,

when the whispers

are beamed directly into

your thoughts.

Can we say, then,

that we are of the same mind?

Human Behavior

Standard

With each additional option,

We see liberation,

But practice caution.

Each consequence with direct causation,

On the results of the action-auction.

Personal persuasion,

Is a zero-sum game,

A perfectly balanced equation.

There is no evasion,

Protesting makes you more tame,

Each strike leaves an abrasion.

Like sipping fine wine from a Klein stein,

That leads you astray, away, aside,

Where you reside on the incline,

And slide back inside.