ERROR 404: NOT FOUND

Standard

Please erase me.

Take me across the bridge

to nowhere,

and watch me fade away,

erase me.

Nowhere, I’d rather be

lost in the fog,

cloaked in grey,

wandering down the winding-path

into obscurity,

please erase me.

It’s not enough to be

far away.

It’s not enough to be

covered up.

It’s not enough to be

crossed out.

Please, please

erase me.

Direct-to-Video

Standard

Purgatory can be found on Earth,

In thrift stores,

bargain bins,

And supermarkets.

Names and faces,

Some famous,

Some strangers,

Etched forever into

Sequels no one asked for,

To movies no one’s heard of,

Residing in everyday

Neighborhood haunts.

Horrifically corny schlock,

Poorly-written nature docs,

For children,

And TV movies that aired once.

No one makes something,

That no one is supposed to see,

But you wonder

whether these people

are where they want to be,

When you can buy half their filmography

for five dollars

and get one for free.

But maybe this is their dream,

To do what they love doing,

Make scenes,

And be seen,

Without being heard of.

Those souls are in my thoughts

For now.

RE: Red Tape

Standard

Dear [POLICY HOLDER 112A-47D43],

As our valued customer, we encourage you to give us your raw unfiltered thoughts regarding our service. But please keep in mind our standards guideline, and to be as polite and favorable to us as possible to us.

As our valued customer, you know about our commitment to freedom of speech and access to information. You are hereby granted free access to our mission statement, press releases and pricing structure whenever you like.

As our valued customer, we want to remind you that we have an upcoming change in our pricing structure. Instead of our previous flat-rate, we have decided on a freedom-enhancing pricing structure that dramatically increases with your use of our service. If you, like 94% of those surveyed in our recent poll of valued customers, were not only overwhelmingly positive but only use 1-3 websites per day, you could save upwards of $5 a month! What a deal!

Here at Liberty Bell, we feel the same way as you, we’re sure. That less freedom, is more freedom! Thank you for your patronage.

Sincerely,

Liberty Bell Telecom

Ransomware

Standard

With one careless,

Errant click,

The line I cast,

With which to phish,

Had gotten a bite.

I seemed to be his boss “Theresa”

But with an “e,”

At the end.

He completed his normal routine,

Without another thought,

Input his username,

Password,

Then hit “send,”

And when I felt the time right,

I reeled him in.

His company put all their eggs in this one basket,

So I took liberty,

To scramble them.

For a small fee,

I will unencrypt,

What they so graciously

Gave me,

At my own discretion.

Phishing is not a contact sport,

It is not fraught with danger,

You can lounge in your robe,

And not move from where you sit,

Still,

I wouldn’t recommend it for the faint of heart.

What webs we weave,

When we practice to deceive,

But at least there’s some money in it.

Planned Obsolescence

Standard

You can put lipstick on a pig,

but at the end of the day,

the shade may just go out of style,

because of controversey

over animal-testing.

I’m telling you this,

on perhaps the most important invention

of our time,

using architecture and infrastructure,

built by brilliant minds

and billions of tax dollars-

that is being sold back to you monthly,

bundled with cable TV and a landline,

that serve as expensive

background noise,

A smartphone accomplishes all of this,

Just don’t let it shatter, bend or explode.

Cars these days,

are safer than ever before,

because fender-benders,

smash their plastic bumpers,

spiderweb-crack their Plexiglas,

and collapse their every crumple zone,

like an empty tissue box,

to be thrown in the trash,

and left out on the curb every Tuesday.

It’s very hard

To practice what you preach,

When screaming,

“Waste not want not,”

While standing at the summit,

Of your own personal

massive garbage heap.

War Games

Standard

Three TU-95s,

Proudly announcing,

Their arrival,

With droning,

Moaning,

Turbines,

Heard for miles.

A flying fossil,

One should not sleep-on,

And is impossible to ignore-

You’ve already heard it,

Long before,

It’s dropped its ordinance.

Four engines- eight props,

Send “The Bear,”

Roaring through the sky,

To survey the territory.

Edging up,

To other’s airspace,

It’s the same old song and dance,

As six cutting-edge stealth-jets,

escort the old Bear,

back from whence it’s came,

Just stopping by to say “hello,”

And keep you on your toes.

Heartbleed

Standard

A bait-and-switch,

Give and take,

Fake Out.

I gave the server,

A blank note,

She did a double-take,

And blurted all her client’s

Names out.

That was taboo,

But she never got the memo–

Maybe it was wrong of me,

To do.

It felt a touch exploitative,

Though I assure you,

A hacker never uses

Their sleight-of-hand,

Technical prowess,

And strong communication skills,

for evil,

Unless they feel like it.